Wichita, Kansas | October 2009
Breast Cancer, Friendship, Family, Support, Resources
Writtn by: Robert Miller, LMSW

As a person with a history of cancer in my genealogy I can honestly say cancer is a “family diagnosis.” Individuals with cancer are not alone. Spouses and life-partners, daughters and sons, friends and neighbors, and grandsons like me share the realities of their diagnosis. I was a fairly young the first time the word cancer barged into my life. My grandmother, Dorothy, was diagnosed with breast cancer. As a grandson, I saw incredible determination and tenderness in conjunction with this word “cancer”. And as for my grandmother, her strength was certain. I am not sure if that outwardly visible strength was fostered as a product of her generation, her modest upbringing, her inner strength, or a combination of those things that made her so amazing and magical to me. What I do know is this uncertain and devastating diagnosis was a battle cry, calling my family to the frontline to stand side-by-side.

Individuals diagnosed with cancer know that, from the first syllable out of a physician’s mouth, the “C” word can bring a great deal of fear and anxiety. It may take a few minutes or a few days for this word and all that comes with it to download to the intellect. The newly diagnosed patient may even feel a need to protect their closest loved-ones from the news, fearing that it will only be harder on them to know. Patients being cared for by family and friends may instinctively withhold the truth about a frightening, and possibly terminal diagnosis. Each circumstance is different, but I believe it was important for my family to fully understand my grandmother’s diagnosis and her treatment. Scary as it all seemed, for us, the unknown realities and opportunities were far more frightening than facing the fact that cancer was now a part of our lives.

Wichita is extremely fortunate to have many unique and willing resources to support patients and families facing the journey of treating and living with a cancer diagnosis. Notably, our local American Cancer Society is an important advocate in services, research and support. Equally important is our own home-grown support agency, Victory In the Valley. Founded in 1983 by Lois Thomi, this organization is a shining light for those facing an uncertain path. Reaching out and asking for help can make a world of difference.

Cancer is many things to many people, but for our family, it was a rally call that brought us together. I even remember going with my grandmother to some of her chemo treatments during my summer break from school. She would come and get me while my parents were working. “I have a doctor’s appointment at the hospital,” she would say; no distress in her voice.

I sat quietly kept her company as the hospital staff hooked her up to the medicine. Because she was so calm, assuring me with her smiles and conversation, I did not see this as a frightening experience. The nurses were all very nice. There was nothing dark and menacing about the moment. Afterwards, we would get ourselves a treat, a reward for the interruption in our day. She never let me know how sick this made her.

Important Resources Available:
American Cancer Society
(316) 265-3400
www.americancancersociety.com

Victory in the Valley
(316) 682-7400
www.victoryinthevalley.org

Central Plains Area Agency on Aging
(316) 660-5120
www.cpaaa.org

United Way of the Plains
(211) • www.unitedwayplains.org
Self Help Network
www.selfhelpnetwork.wichita.edu

MediCARE Health Care www.medicare.gov