Wichita, Kansas | February 2010
engagement, marriage, wedding, bridesmaid, wedding planner, jewelry, reception
Writtn by: Suzanna Mathews

Congratulations! You’re engaged to be married. It has been decided that you will not live life alone. But you shouldn’t have to dive into wedding planning alone either. For guidance, ideas—and most of all YOU, WomensFocus has called on wedding planning survivors and experts. After all, you are now in the sisterhood of women who have been there, done that. As stressful as it may be, you are certainly not alone.

René West has a dual perspective on the bridal business, having a decorating and theme party business called Allure Design and having thrown a fabulous wedding reception for herself recently. Although her latest projects included elaborate affairs at the Bellagio and the Wynn hotels in Las Vegas, West says that weddings are actually getting simpler. “The reception is the biggest part,” says West. “It’s more involved than the ceremony.”

She says that more brides are transferring flowers from the ceremony site to the reception site in order to reuse them and save money on decorations. Using backlights, tiers of food trays, and other decorating tricks, West—along with lead designer Kyle McGee—has developed a knack for table-scaping a buffet that makes the edibles appear to cost more than they really do.

For her own wedding, West held a poolside reception in her backyard with rose balls strewn across the lawn and flower rings floating in the swimming pool. She placed five different flavors of cake in locations around the yard and guests mingled against a musical backdrop provided by a quartet from the Wichita Symphony. “People expect drama and whimsy. The nice thing about a home wedding or home reception is that it’s more personal; it’s the setting where memories have been made and are going to continue to be made. And it’s also more economical.”

Economy was important for newlywed Liz Tiede—especially when it came to the big-ticket item. She found a dress designer she liked and looked her up on eBay. “I bought my Maggie Sottero gown for $100,” says Tiede. “It had never been worn.” Tiede also saved money on a wedding planner by getting her mother involved. “Let your mom be your wedding planner if she wants to be. She knows you better than any paid wedding coordinator.”

While she found it worthwhile to spend money on a U-Haul to transport wedding decorations, she learned an important lesson about types of decorations that should never mix. “Never let your crazy aunt arrange silk flowers with candles,” Tiede laughs. “Two of my table arrangements caught on fire. And don’t throw your bouquet too high...mine got stuck in the ceiling.”

While Tiede’s wedding mishaps are the stuff of family humor now, she does have serious advice for brides-to-be when it comes to organization: “Be as organized as you can with addresses and write them down. It’s so much easier to keep track of than having them online. Use a pencil and buy an address book immediately following your engagement.” With so many details to attend to and decisions to make (such as where to find flame-resistant centerpieces, for instance), a highly organized, super supportive, BFF bridesmaid is invaluable. This role is usually fulfilled by the maid of honor, and you’ll want to thank her with a really special gift for cheerfully and tirelessly buttressing you throughout the wedding planning process.

Valerie Reimers and Deniece Ross at Lucinda’s suggest one of their colorful Firefly cross necklaces, featuring beautiful bright crystals and beads and available in a variety of sizes. Another popular option is the Farfetched collection of earrings, necklaces and bracelets featuring inspirational quotations and animal characters. Frou Frou owner Betsy Morrison also notices that brides tend to gravitate toward playful or personal jewelry such as custom earrings and necklaces.

What about the most important jewelry of all? We mean the all-important engagement ring and/or wedding band, of course. Robin Lies, manager of Burnell’s, says that trends have been “all over the board” with vintage platinum and steel bands remaining strong with princess cut, radiant cut, and cushion cut diamonds. And there’s a surprising increase in demand for larger diamonds. “The stones are getting bigger, even with the economy,” says Lies. Three-ring sets are growing in popularity over the previously popular two-ring sets and Lies has noticed that couples embarking on a second marriage are opting for wide diamond bands. But the diamond with the biggest “wow” factor is the Star 129 diamond—a brilliant round diamond with 129 facets. Burnell’s is the only jeweler in town to carry this stunning style.

So, the options are truly limitless and your wedding is your best chance to express your tastes as as a couple. Bride-to-be Jenni Glasmann is relishing the chance to incorporate the habits and preferences that are unique to her and her fiancé. The couple has enjoyed Sunday brunch throughout their relationship, so they decided to throw a Sunday brunch wedding. “And we love desserts, so we aren’t serving cake; instead we’re having a dessert station with lots of goodies.” She doesn’t apologize for bucking tradition. Glasmann explains, “I think many people lose sight of the fact that the wedding belongs to them; you don’t have to follow any rules. Make it about who you are as a couple.”

Knowing that wedding planning can spin out of control and overwhelm even the most organized bride, Glasmann offers some perspective on process: “Have fun and remember that it’s just one day. When the planning gets hard, remember you do have to live with each other after the event. For me, the best part is going to be when I walk down the aisle and all we have to do is enjoy the beginning of our life together.”